You know I know how

Last night I went with my host family to the coliseo in Armenia to watch one of the brothers, Juan Sebastian, play basketball in a semi-professional league! His team is the Cafeteros, which is quite fitting for Quindio, in the coffee region.

The coliseo in Armenia

Functioning on Colombian time, some people wandered in after the game started, and the audience was complete with vendors selling whistles and horns, ice cream, and drinks, spectators young and old, and a little white dog trotting around asking for food. He ran around the stadium practically the entire game, poor thing. 

Colombians are very supportive of their teams. The majority have their eyes glued to the game, so I had to pretend that I was interested in basketball more than just when Erica plays. I had Juan Sebastian's girlfriend, Rosa, next to me yelling directions at the team the whole game. I told her she should be the coach. This did help keep me involved in the game! It was a family affair: Gloria's sister, brother, nieces, and nephews came out to support Juan Sebastian, as well as Sara, Florentino, and Gloria. The teams each had about 3 gringos that they contracted to come play on the team. They were pretty good, but they never passed the ball! Come on, gringos! Play as a team! Foul shots are the same universally (except in high school, where it's not allowed): the people make lots of noise for the opposite team. Unfortunately, that didn't work for us. Despite frequent cheers of "¡Cafeteros!" (clap clap clap), "¡cafeteros!" (clap clap clap), our team did not win. It was still a fun cultural experience! 

Me in the coliseo a few years ago

Today I was determined to do two things: get my hair cut and make chocolate chip cookies. I learned that "grafilado" does NOT mean layered (I'm still not really sure what it means, but she cut my hair in a v-shape), and that I must ask for "capas" if I want layers. At least the lady was nice, and my host sister said she didn't even notice a difference when I came back and showed her. So much for an hour and a half! But anyway, I decided to make chocolate chip cookies. Finally, a taste of home!

Making chocolate chips cookies here in Colombia takes an entire day. First, you must go online and translate all ingredients needed. Then it is necessary to enlist the help of your host sister to go to the store and carry everything back. After discovering that neither of the two grocery stores nearby has chocolate chips, you must go with your host dad to another grocery store (which has many American brands, such as Hershey's ans Sun Maid raisins!) to find them. Then, after getting your first Colombian haircut, you must return home, start mixing the dough, realize that you bought the wrong brown sugar (and that there is more than one type of brown sugar), use it anyways, and pray. You might use this recipe.

Nestle Chocolate Chip Cookies 

Total prep time: 10 minutes
Total cooking time: 4 hours

Wait until your host parents wake up so they can tell you how to use the oven (which has zero words on it in English or Spanish), convert Fahrenheit temperatures to Celsius, and hope that the cake pan will function sufficiently as a cookie sheet. As your host family has never made cookies before, cookie sheets are scarce. Imagine great cookies such as these:

How chocolate chip cookies should look

When the first batch comes out like this (and you can only make 4 at a time),

How chocolate chip cookies should not look

don't despair. Even though they are flat to the pan and smoosh together when you try to get them out and the middles don't hold together, make sure to look for possible solutions at this website:

Oh right, high altitude cooking.

Meanwhile, your host sister should keep you company as she watches you produce this poor representation of the one thing you can cook well. She will comment that your cookies look more like patacones than the picture of the good cookies you showed her.

Patacones

Patacookies?

Don't get exasperated. You must as this point Skype your mother for solutions. You must also try to figure out how to respond to your host family, who is asking questions and making suggestions that you might try to improve the situation. They've never made cookies, and you've never made cookies in Colombia, but it's ok! Keep trying! Try in different shaped pans and try different temperatures and cooking times and try putting the dough in the refrigerator beforehand! You might even get ONE good cookie. It will be the anomaly.

[Insert angelic singing of praises and amazement]

Eventually, after much error y tanteo, it's time to throw in the towel. Or you might have to throw the towel on the floor to clean up the milk that spilled because when you put the cookies on a plate in the fridge to cool down the hot plate burned through the bag that milk comes in. But remember, no se puede llorar sobre la leche derramada. At this point, just use the rest of the dough to make two huge cookies that look more like pancakes. Leave them in the oven for a while. Who knows at this point what temperature you're using, anyways?

Once you're done, you will have many great-looking cookies that are almost exactly like the ones you can find on Google. They will be more like pieces than actual cookies. You may feel some pena about the appearance of the cookies, but lo and behold, they will go fast. At least they will taste awesome! One more thing: make sure to sample each batch to make sure that they came out okay.

This belongs in an art museum.

Thanks for being with me today and sharing my experience! Until next time. Chao.

coliseo = coliseum 

cafeteros = coffee-growers/farmers

gringos = non-derogatory term for people from the U.S.

error y tanteo = trial and error

No se puede llorar sobre la leche derramada = don't cry over spilled milk.

pena = shame, embarrassment